ENCOURAGING MOMS TO RAISE THEIR CHILDREN IN CHRIST
Can You Relate?
Before I had children, I knew I didn’t feel ready. I was 36 years old when I had my first daughter, and I still felt like a teenager. I used to think that some moms had all the answers and knew how to do all the right things. This kind of thinking made me question myself, everyday, as a mom (as a woman, period), but not anymore! God made me a mom for a reason. God made you a mom for a reason, too! I can tell you why: To raise up the next generation of Holy Spirit-filled Jesus followers and to fulfill your family’s purpose on this Earth, today, and until His return.
Accept compliments as God's encouragement for you!
I used to debunk compliments and ignore my needs as a woman. Life was challenging. I had no idea that I was okay where I was and that I didn’t need any past sadness to manipulate God to bless me as a mother. I realized that this was a grievance for my mom. My grandmother died when my mom was two months old. She never got to know her mother, and I believe this was a big insecurity for her as a mom, especially raising a girl of her own. Now, it’s my turn. One of my daughters was born the day before my mom’s birthday. I knew this was God showing me that He was with me and, now, the tables are turned, in a good way. Instead, my insecurities began to show up at the least desirable moments. I knew it was time to rely upon the Lord and show up, but I didn’t. Instead, I stumbled badly. My desire to show a new generation in my family who God is and who He can be in their lives felt like a complete failure. But, the fact that He’s allowing me to do RM, right now, is an indication that it’s not over. Hallelujah! : )
The Backstory
I knew we hadn’t put in the time, money, and effort to prove that we were ready to have kids. We weren’t ready. We didn’t know each other well. My husband and I had been married for two months prior to the baby news. We didn’t have our own place or a plan. I don’t like to admit things like this because I want to be seen as the well put-together mom, but I know there are women who need to hear this story. Maybe you’re one of them.
We’d met seven months prior to our wedding day, and decided to tie the knot just three months after we met. We had no idea who we were marrying. I know there are moms who would give everything to hear pregnancy news, but…
having a child under our circumstances didn’t feel like the best decision, to me.
I considered abortion and adoption, things my husband knew nothing about. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I mean, I barely knew this guy, but I knew him at the same time! It wasn’t until we were married, though, that the “I may have made a terrible mistake” hit me. In my marriage, there was no true intimacy, no fun nor excitement. It was as if I’d sat myself right in the midst of the enemy’s camp, wailing and waiting until the Lord showed up. Things went from bad to worse when we moved to my hometown (Baltimore). I was bringing my sweet, newborn daughter into this environment we called “marriage”.
When my daughter was a newborn, I realized I was a mom who would be raising her without my mom, whose name was Ruth. “I’m Ruthless,” I thought. “Ruthless Mothering!” I was as shocked as Rip Van Winkle must have been. I had no idea how I got where I was, except I really did know. I’d met a man, gotten married and had a baby in the span of 17 months (Can you say, “head spin”?) . Within 4 years, I had three babies and a marriage that was failing, miserably. It wasn’t until just recently that I learned I needed a perspective change.
Triumphing!
The Lord has me on a journey, and what a journey it has been! What I used to think was humiliating, has been actually humbling. I’m learning that there’s no perfect parent (other than God the Father), but I hope to not only learn from our Creator, Himself, but from other moms who are following Christ in their own lives and families. Maybe I can return the favor, at times. I’ve learned that there’s nothing wrong with not knowing what to do! Don’t beat up yourself. Not having answers doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom.
Most of my earlier decisions have proven to me that I had no idea what I was doing, and I needed more healing than I ever thought. Before I closed myself off to Him, God would help me. I allowed the negative talk (aka lies) from the devil to tell me that I was ruining my and my kids’ lives. But, no more! It’s time to continue learning and growing, hopefully with you.
I hope you tune in and join the Ruthless Mothering Podcast community for more, as we go deep into the emotions, thoughts and feelings of motherhood – of being a woman, period! Thank you for your interest in RM!
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